How to know if you’re making the right decision: 8 signs you’re on track

How do you know you’re making the right decision?  

This is a great question, and it’s one I get from clients all the time. Making a big decision, whether it’s taking a new job, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, moving to a new city or country, or even getting a dog, is a difficult process! And it’s one that often raises more questions than it answers.

But in my decade as a decision coach, I’ve learned that there are certain ways to know you’re making the right decision. If you want to check your work, look no further!

Here are eight signs you’re on the right track to making the best decision.

1) Your decision is in line with your values.

Before every session, I ask my client to make a list of their values. I don’t mean religious values here; I mean the things that are important to your everyday quality of life. For me this list includes recognition for my work, not having to set an alarm clock in the morning, feeling like I’m helping people, being able to wear sweatpants every day, staying in touch with family and friends, daily exercise, alone time, eating delicious things, drinking good wine, having enough money to support causes I believe in, and working on exciting projects.

Once you have your own list, decision-making becomes so much easier! (You might not even need me!)

Now look at your options, the choices you’re deciding between. Is there one that is more aligned with your values? That’s a green traffic signal—making a decision that’s in line with what’s important to you is always a smart call. Making a decision that’s not in line with your values is a shortcut to unhappiness. So compare each option and see which one checks more boxes on the values list. That’s probably the right choice for you.

2) You can see how your decision will create your future.

Can you draw a straight line from your decision to the future you want—or at least you see how you can get there? I always ask clients to sketch out what they want their life to look like in the future, suggesting they imagine one year, five years, and ten years from now. Then we look at their current decision dilemma and try to figure out which choice is going to get them to the life they want.

Often, both options will do this! But one option will do it faster. I’m thinking of situations like making a lateral career move vs. going for a promotion that feels like a reach. Or getting more experience in something that you’ve already got enough experience in, just in case a potential client asks you about it one day, rather than just going out there and starting your own side hustle or business.

When in doubt, pick the option that gets you to your dream life fastest. The straight line, not the wavy line.

3) You’ve checked in with your feelings.

People often want to leave their feelings out of a decision. They think good decision-making happens based entirely on logic, facts and figure. And yes, we want to use all of those things!

But. I have a recurring situation with clients where we go through the pros and cons. We look at the facts and figures. We can see, both me and the client, that there’s one choice that makes more sense on paper.

But they just don’t want to do it.

What to do in this situation?

I’ve learned, over the years, that there’s only one answer here: you do the thing you want to do. It doesn’t matter how many pros there are on the list, or how much I tell someone what they should do….people don’t do things they don’t want to.

There are some exceptions here, of course. When kids are involved, their welfare always comes first. And when it’s a decision that the person just isn’t ready to make yet, I’ll reassure them they can always take action down the road. I’m thinking here of a client in an emotionally abusive relationship who knew she “ought” to leave but just wasn’t ready. I helped her realize that yes, leaving was the right choice, and reassured her that she would come to take action eventually. (She followed up with me six months later and she’d ended the relationship!)

And I’m not talking about situations when inertia, or fear, or shame keeps you from making a big, exciting choice (if you’re in that situation, call me and we will get you moving!). Those feelings often need to be overcome to get the thing you want. I’m talking about that feeling in the pit of your stomach that says, “I don’t want this.” You’re allowed to listen to that feeling.

Many clients, at the end of a session when I tell them what they should do, breath a sign of relief and say, “I was hoping you’d say that.” Let me save you some money and tell you right now that when you tell someone your dilemma and you already are hoping they’ll pick one choice over another….it’s ok to just go with that choice! Doing what you want (as long as it’s in line with your values—see #1), doesn’t hurt anyone unnecessarily, and isn’t going to throw a total wrench into your future—is a good decision.

Need help figuring out what you want? I’m here to help.

4) You’ve done good risk assessment.

Anyone who’s heard me on a podcast has heard me talk about how people are mostly very bad at risk assessment. We have a bias towards the status quo, and we worry that making a change means that things will get worse. But the reality of so many big choices is that the risk is much, much lower than you think. Let’s say you’ve been unhappy at your job and you’ve been looking around for other opportunities. An offer comes your way and it sounds good…but you struggle to make the decision to accept it because what if it’s not a good job? The risk is too high, right?

Let’s look at the risk rationally. You began looking for a new job for a reason. Maybe you were underpaid, there was no path to promotion, your boss favored your co-worker over you…whatever the reason, you were unhappy. Now let’s look at the new offer. OK, you can’t know what it’s actually like until you get there, but if you take this job what is the ACTUAL, REALISTIC worst case scenario? You’ll end up on the street? No. You’ll lose all your friends and family? Also no. The worst case scenario is that you’ll end up with a job you don’t like that much. And guess what? You’re already in that scenario.

Risk level? Low.

You can apply this framework to every decision you make. Look at the risk objectively, not in terms of the worst outcome you can imagine. If the true risk level is low, then you have nothing to lose by making a change. And you have so much to gain.

5) You feel excited about your choice.

If you’re staring down two options, and one of them leaves you feeling excited and nervous and twitchy, and the other leaves you feeling safe but slightly flat….pay attention to those sensations. When we make choices that have a lot of potential for change, we can feel excited or we can feel revulsion. It’s that first feeling we’re looking for. And if that excitement comes with a side of nervous and scared, that’s OK—and not a reason not to do it. If one particular option makes you dream big, and it makes you imagine yourself succeeding in new ways, that’s a green flag.

Listen for that thrum of excitement. It’s a great sign that what you’re doing is right for you.

6) Your people agree that you’re making the right decision.

Caveat: this isn’t always true. There are two kinds of situations where other people’s opinions can play out. The first is when your family and friends encourage you to do the “right” thing, otherwise known as the conventional thing. To finish a degree, to get married, to have kids, to stay in a “safe” job. In this situation, if you don’t want to, you probably shouldn’t (unless you should—call me and I’ll tell you which one 😉). If they use the word “settle” or even imply it, feel free to disregard their opinion.

Then there’s the other situation. This is the one I’m talking about right now. The situation in which you finally make the decision, and everyone you know and trust says “FINALLY!” and breaths a big sigh of relief. Maybe because you’ve been talking their ears off about it for days, weeks, months, or years. Maybe because they’ve watched you get stuck in a bad situation (a toxic job, an abusive-or just unsatisfying-relationship, a one-sided friendship) and have been wanting you to get out for a long time now. THAT is the situation when you know you’ve made the right decision. When the people who know you best think you’re doing the right thing, you probably are.

7) You’ve made sure your choice isn’t an elaborate form of procrastination.

Here’s a decision that lots of people call me to help them make: they’re deciding whether or not to go to grad school. (If this is your issue, you can check out my blog post on that here.) Now, sometimes, grad school is actually necessary for them to get what they want—if they want to become a lawyer, well, they’ve got to go to law school. But sometimes grad school is just an expensive, time-consuming way of putting off a bigger decision—like, “what should my career be?”

When making a decision, one of your indispensable steps should be to look at your options, and make sure that none of them are just fancy ways of procrastinating on making the decision. Action is, in almost every case, better than delay. If you try out a career and you don’t like it, then at least you’ve got real data on it. If you went to grad school for two years and then tried it, you’d be in the same position—just two years older, and likely in a lot more debt.

So if your choice is an actual step forward, and not just a fancy way of pushing the decision down the road, that’s a good sign you’re on the right track.

Procrastinating on a big decision? Here are four quick tips for cutting through the BS.

8) The choice you made embiggens your life.

Please forgive my use of a Simpsons joke from 20 years ago and hear me out. As a species, we love the status quo. Things that feel familiar, safe, normal. And that’s fine….but sometimes we get an opportunity to open our world a little bit more. Let’s imagine you’re trying to make up your mind and one of the options is something you’d never thought of before: maybe it’s a job you’d never pictured yourself doing, or the chance to move to Paris for a year, or anything else that will significantly change your life. You’re faced with a dilemma. Keep doing what’s familiar…or try something really, really new that will mean fresh experiences and unprecedented ways of thinking.

Life is short. If there’s an opportunity to embiggen it, embiggen.

Still need help? Book a session with me to get your decision made and move on with your life. Click here to find out how I can help.